Today I am happy and I say that with a smile on my face, a real smile with meaning behind it. Not that fake smile that I hid behind for years of my life. As I write this my eyes fill up with tears, tears of acceptance, relief, accomplishment and happiness. The past years were brutal it was a constant battle of accepting myself and trying to find true happiness. Let me tell you, the truth is it takes time; a lot of time. Happiness just doesn’t come in the blink of an eye. Loving and accepting yourself the way you are doesn’t happen on a wish of a shooting star. True happiness doesn’t come easily and the biggest thing I learned is that to be happy and to feel happy are two totally different things. I learned that the hard way, by letting someone’s opinion of me take away my self-image and happiness. I had to fight like hell to get it back. I was so focused on being in love and having someone love me that I didn’t realize I was being mistreated, and once I realized what had happened to me I knew I had to change my mindset and work on myself.
The true lesson of life isn’t to love yourself it really is to accept who you are today. Accept every little flaw that makes you who you are too. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in others people’s lives and others appearance. That’s when the saying “The grass looks greener on the other side” comes into play. You have to accept yourself with no makeup on. Accept yourself with that extra five pounds that you hate. Accept everything you hate about yourself and learn to love it, because once you do it will be a lot easier to strive to be a happier and healthier version of yourself. Never let one person change your self-image because you have to know that you are enough and you will always be loved. The most important person to have love you is yourself and once you realize that you will be truly happy.
Today I do have someone special that loves me, and she is looking right back at me in the mirror. I accept myself and I love every little flaw about me that makes me who I am today, and most importantly I got my happiness back, and it never felt so good. I may have not been made the way I would have chosen but I am the exact way God wanted me to be. Although he didn’t give me the perfect legs, he gave me so many other qualities that made me who I am today. He gave me incredible strength, a caring heart, a selfless personality. He gave me beauty and confidence. He gave me all the qualities that made me the women I’m supposed to be today.
The truth is everyone has a daily fight, whether we want to admit it or not. The only difference between you and me is you can see mine; I can’t hide it or pretend that it doesn’t exist. It does exist and each day that I’m fighting my battle head on and it’s out in the open for the public to see. I used to think that it was unfair and I would wish I had a different battle to fight one that I could hide, but why? What’s the point? So what you can see my fight, but you can also see my determination, my progress and my pride. My pride of which I am, my determination of making myself stronger each and every day and my progress of how far I come. My fight made me the women I am today and the women I’m supposed to be, and I would never want to change that.