I’m twenty-five years old today, a quarter of a century. Wow, that’s seems so weird to say. Twenty-five years old and I think I have my life figured out… well, most of the time. Dealing with the usual stuff a 25-year-old goes through on top of that let’s throw a disability into the mix. A mild case of Cerebral Palsy to be exact.
When I was younger I had a theory that if I kept praying to God and wishing on my birthday candles, shooting stars and 11:11 that one day I would wake up and my legs would work “perfect” after all birthday wishes only happen once a year and seeing a shooting star is rare, so it has to work, right? I thought that the way I walked was just temporally. “Okay God, I’m ready.” I used to say to my praying beanie baby bear, like magically somehow God could zap me in the middle of the night and I’d be fine. I can remember lying in bed curled up in my twin size mattress bundled under my blue Snow White comforter. I remember the excitement I had thinking that tomorrow would be the day that God would take my Cerebral Palsy away, all because I made a wish at 11:11.
Well believe it or not, that wish never came true. Shocker right? I did this for years before realizing that this is me, it’s not going to change. Trust me it took me years to come to terms with my disability and trust me I mean years, but once I realized that, life got easier. I finally decided that I was blessed to have the ability to walk with my limp rather then not walk at all, the day I came to terms with that was the day I finally started to thank God each and every day to allowing me to walk and have the inner strength that I need to thrive with.
In life everyone has two choices that occur over and over again in every situation that life throws your way. That is to be positive or negative, to look at the glass half full or half empty and that choice is one you can only make for yourself. Now I’m definitely not saying to be happy go lucky or to take your positivity to the extreme, but that is just what works for me.
I have Cerebral Palsy, it would be so easy for me to have a negative mindset, and always think bad thoughts. I could sit here and complain and tell you all the negative things about having Cerebral Palsy or I can sit here and tell you how having CP made me a stronger, caring and a more determined woman. Now, I’m certainly not going to lie to you, I definitely have my times of weakness and will complain about my sore muscles, or how the cold is making my legs tighter and stiffer. I’ll think to myself “why me?” but then I remember God doesn’t give you things that you can’t handle. I may struggle a little more then some, but I am blessed in so many other ways.
I do truly believe that I wouldn’t be the same girl without having CP but I also think that I was given this life for a reason, maybe the reason is to share my story of going through life with a disability and how I dealt with those uncomfortable situations and to show younger boys/girls they aren’t alone, everyone has a battle that they are going through.
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